


Diocletian reasons

by letmebegenericinpeace



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Gender-Neutral Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Mentions of Other Voltron Paladins, lotor distracted me with his fabulousness and i didnt comprehend that we were going downhill, so let me just philosophize about choice and free will in this fic, the more you peel them the more they make you cry, there is no way to make the ending not hurt without rewriting the show from like season 3 or 4, voltron characters are onions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-27
Updated: 2020-09-27
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:14:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26683498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/letmebegenericinpeace/pseuds/letmebegenericinpeace
Summary: If you saw the juniberry fields that I planted with my own hands, you wouldn`t dare suggest that I replace the peace and happiness of this place with the storms of a never-satisfied greed.Or Lance isn`t a memory card and there is literally an almost Voltron-sized statue of Allura, so Pidge`s got some constructive criticism and an empty seat in their ship with Lance`s name on it. So why isn`t it enough?
Relationships: Allura/Lance (Voltron), Lance & Pidge | Katie Holt
Kudos: 4





	Diocletian reasons

**Author's Note:**

> 'I headcanon Pidge to be the sort of person who realises how hurtful their words must have sounded to other people only AFTER confidently shouting them for all to hear' the fic.

With the formidable leap humanity had made in the last century in its technological advancement, PhD candidates would catch a sight of articles dedicated to the changes in cultural values and the strain put on the psyche of those who didn`t fit into the picture of the new, efficient, advanced world. Those works of mind would be easily ignored and the students would keep vigorously researching for their thesis on more ways to use plutonium to keep up with the latest requirements for spaceships after that one expidition a month or so ago.

Unfortunately, the shape of The Man in Space, a modern aspiration for youngsters all over the planet, was very particular. So when some of them felt like they didn`t quite fit and the world was out to get them, it might have had a scientific explanation. Galaxy Garrison was The institution to be moulded in, and, despite not fully comprehending it in the moment, Pidge was quite comfortable there in their cadet years. Hacking the system for the whole campus to think them a young man is details. There were also drawbacks from being sassy during simulations but that was just them feeling too comfortable with Hunk and Lance. And yet, there were people who did need more moulding, so much that it was not just uncomfortable but painful and infuriating. Now that they worked for their alma-mater, Pidge couldn`t say the atmosphere was less familiar, the whole Holt family holding leadership in integalactic expertise in their respective fields and Garrison hogging the four (plus their alien sister-in-law, her robot, whom Pidge had called the dips for if death did Matt and Nyma apart, and good old Bae Bae) for themselves. However GH did undergo some changes, did become more accepting of temperament, did suit as a comfortable environment for the capable. They only had to be persuasive enough.

'You can`t be serious.'

Lance only blinked and gave them this laid-back smile. It used to be cocky, delighted, smug, excited, lazy, admiring, and many, many more, vivid in its miniscule movement of facial muscles. Now it was either laid-back or sad.

'I am.'

No further explanation, only eye contact. They couldn`t help the spike of annoyance that emerged stinging them right in the patience.

'Then you might have not heard or understood me. I`ll summarize. A position in Garrison, latest spacecraft models, lots of action.'

'I got you the first time, and the answer`s the same. I`m staying here.'

'But here it`s stale and static. A museum, Lance! Aren`t you bored?'

Once they`d volunteered as tour guides on a space platform for the World Exhibition. Lance had been pretty excited about it because of the field of interest. The first couple of days he`d been. The rest five he`d been stir-crazy, just like them, and Hunk, and the rest of the group. Because museums are a ride designed to be taken at most twice if you`re a fan.

'It`s peaceful. And I`ve learnt to entertain myself when I`m bored. I thought you of all people would be glad I have.'

That gave them a shake. Pidge took a look at their friend but there was no sign of what they`d thought was implied.

'Are tours and farming really your new idea of enterainment?'

Because that kind of signified PTSD, which all of them had to have. They still couldn`t sleep without checking the security system first.

'One`s an occupation, one`s a hobby. Those now I`ve got a plenty. I might even knit you something nice depending on how long you`re planning to stay.'

'As long as it takes for you to give up.'

'I won`t. A sweater it is then. Would you like a rainbow-patterned one?'

Right, and one more for himself.

'Rainbow-hued.'

'I`ll take your word for it, but the rest... are wasted on me, I`m afraid.'

'You`re being stubborn.'

'Really?'

There was a playful twinkle in his eyes. His Altean marks too seemed to glint in a slightly different shade. And boy did it hurt looking at them. They wondered if there were any mirrors in the house. Might explain the bristle.

'The offer`s beneficial no matter how you look at it, so please indulge me and look here.'

'Alright,' he said easily.

'Good,' quiznack, it was going to be hard. 'Lance,' that was his name, but there was an intervention on the agenda to be announced. 'I know the grief is strong but you can`t dedicate your life to mourning. You have to fight it and move on. I know it can come off as cold, and you have the right to be angry at me for saying this but it`s the reality.'

'I`m not. I could never be angry at any of you guys. We`re a team, remember?'

Did they?

'Which is exactly why I can`t leave you in this purgatory.'

'That`s what it looks like to you?' Lance frowned.

'It really does.'

'I`m sorry I made you worried.'

Pidge felt like they were about to explode.

'Don`t apo... You`ve got nothing to apologise for, Lance.'

'Can I ask you a question now?'

'Sure.'

They couldn`t even use words for now anyway.

'What makes you think that my choices aren`t something I`ve been lead to the entire time?'

'Lance, I`m sorry we weren`t there for you during the war, but...'

'So you knew.'

There was no accusation. More like if he was checking if they`d heard the news.

'I didn`t, I... realized,' they hated to admit it, but it was true. 'Later, upon reflection. I`m so sorry.'

'It`s fine. I told you I wasn`t angry. And what I`m asking is not an attempt to guilt trip you. It`s just... We all went through a lot. The bad and the good. There was a lot of good, my relationship with Allura included. She made me very happy and I hope that it was mutual. When I lost her... I`m not saying any of you had it easier, but there was a future for me and her we would never have. I did mourn, Pidgey, but I`m not hopelessly waiting for her. It`s just that I`ve changed, and I think for the better. Not only because of her, but everything. This is where I`m meant to be. Who I`m meant to be. And so are you, and Hunk, and Keith, and Shiro, everyone.'

Well, that sounded like something they could present at least six arguments against, but their friend didn`t need a list, did he?

'Are you sure? Or did you convince yourself to think this way?'

'Remember when you were looking for Matt and Mr. Holt?'

How could they ever forget?

'That`s different. They were and are still alive.'

'But back then you didn`t know this. Was you being a paladin grieving?'

'Someone had to save the universe.'

'Lions can be flown by anyone with the appropriate characteristics. You chose to be this someone.'

'I did,' another thing they couldn`t deny.

'So what`s there to regret, Pidgey? We did it.'

So there was a third smile. They looked away.

'But at what cost?'

'Allura knew...'

'I`m not talking about... not only her, Lance.'

'Is it about that reflecting stuff?'

They hated that it all came to this.

'Why was I so stupid back then? Is it the age? Maybe if I was older, I would have been wiser. A better friend.'

'You`re a great friend.'

But not to him when it mattered. There was too much shame for them to win in this conversation. They`d drop it. For now.

'If you ever change your mind, one call and I`ll wrestle Iverson into laying a red carpet for your arrival.'

'Please don`t. I want be there when you kick his ass.'

Lance`s fourth smile was the grateful one.

**Author's Note:**

> If my dialogues sound like a ping pong match, I hope you at least enjoyed the game, because I have no explanation why I write like this.


End file.
